Things to keep in mind concerning this study.
What this study isn’t…
1. This is NOT a comprehensive, all inclusive teaching about marriage.
Paul is answering very specific questions they had concerning marriage.
It should all be viewed through what the rest of the Bible says about marriage.
This study should be applied using the principles found in:
Ephesians 5; Colossians 3; 1 Peter 3; and other passages.
2. This passage does NOT directly address the difficulties of abusive relationships or controlling spouses.
3. This passage does NOT directly deal with the difficulties of one or both spouses being victims of emotional or sexual abuse from the past.
4. This passage is NOT God’s only teaching concerning marriage.
It is foolish and dangerous to try to make this passage God’s final and only word concerning marriage.
What this passage is…
It is important for us to realize that this is God’s ideal and design for sex within the marriage relationship.
His design for sex within the marriage relationship is perfect.
It should be the goal and desire of every Christian spouse to embrace God’s ideal.
Unfortunately, we live in a very sinful, damaged, imperfect world.
But Christian spouses should not throw up their hands and give up on God’s ideal.
Every Christian should seek to live for God, + grow in every area of their life.
God will help us to be changed in every area of our life.
2 Cor 3:18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.
Wherever sin has damaged the Christian in his body, mind, or heart…
Whatever sins have been committed in the past that leave one feeling hopeless…
Whatever wrong thinking there is concerning sex in marriage…
The Christian still needs to move towards God’s beautiful design of sex w/in marriage, and trust God all through the process
1. Review the kind of city Corinth was…
Metropolitan.
Temple of Aphrodite w/ its 1000 temple prostitutes.
Sexual immorality was considered normal.
2. They had previously written to Paul asking him about certain things.
Paul is now responding directly to those questions.
I. The Life Of Celibacy verses 1 & 7
A. Is Celibacy Right Or Wrong?
1. The Corinthians lived in a very decadent city.
There was a lot of sexual temptation.
2. We don’t know what their question to Paul was.
It may have been…
a. Since sexual temptation is everywhere, should we just give up sex altogether?
b. Is abstinence the only way to live sexually pure?
c. Should we withdraw all contact with the opposite sex?
This was some of the thinking among those who entered monasteries in the Middle Ages. Escape the temptation.
It was the kind of mentality which the Heaven’s Gate cult embraced. They shaved their heads, very loose robes, and de-emphasized their sexuality.
Escapism doesn’t take away the God given desire for sexual relations.
Albert Barnes- This chapter commences the second part or division of this Epistle, or, “the discussion of those points which had been submitted to the apostle in a letter from the church at Corinth, for his instruction and advice.” See the Introduction to the Epistle. The letter in which they proposed the questions which are here discussed, has been lost. It is manifest that, if we now had it, it would throw some light on the answers which Paul has given to their inquiries in this chapter. The first question which is discussed 1 Cor. 7:1-9 is, whether it were lawful and proper to enter into the marriage relation. How this question had arisen, it is not now possible to determine with certainty. It is probable, however, that it arose from disputes between those of Jewish extraction, who held not only the lawfulness but the importance of the marriage relation, according to the doctrines of the Old Testament, and certain followers or friends of some Greek philosophers, who might have been the advocates of celibacy.
But “why” they advocated that doctrine is unknown. It is known, however, that many even of the Greek philosophers, among whom were Lycurgus, Thales, Antiphanes, and Socrates (see Grotius), thought that, considering “the untractable tempers of women, and how troublesome and fraught with danger was the education of children,” it was the part of wisdom not to enter into the marriage relation. From them may have been derived the doctrine of celibacy in the Christian church; a doctrine that has been the cause of so much corruption in the monastic system, and in the celibacy of the clergy among the papists. The Jews, however, everywhere defended the propriety and duty of marriage. They regarded it as an ordinance of God. And to this day, they hold that a man who has arrived to the age of twenty years, and who has not entered into this relation, unless prevented by natural defects, or by profound study of the law, sins against God. Between these two classes, of those in the church who had been introduced there from these two classes, the question would be agitated whether marriage was lawful and advisable.
B. Paul’s Answer Concerning Celibacy For The Corinthians
1. There is nothing wrong with celibacy.
It is good if a man or woman can live a single life.
But that is a serious consideration.
2. There is no command for people to live a single life or be celibate.
There is no command for marriage.
Matthew Henry– It was a thing in which men, by the laws of God, were in a great measure left at liberty.
1 Cor 7:6 But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment
Paul offers his sanctified opinion concerning their circumstances.
NOTE- There seemed to have been some very unique circumstances going on in Corinth when Paul wrote this letter.
Look at verse 26… perhaps the beginnings of persecution against Christians.
Special circumstances gave Paul a platform to share his opinion about whether it was wise to be married or single.
EX- Not wise to get married during war, to raise a family, etc.
Not a command, but a wise opinion.
Matthew Henry- Paul could wish all men were as himself, that is, single, and capable of living continently in that state. There were several conveniences in it, which at that season, if not at others, made it more eligible in itself.
Godly wisdom will dictate whether or not one should marry.
The Bible does not give us an answer for every personal situation.
But the Holy Spirit will give us wisdom.
EX- You just met someone, neither of you has a job, and the person you met swears they have an alien for a mother.
The Bible doesn’t forbid that marriage.
But it’s probably not smart to marry that person.
C. Celibacy Is Not For Everyone verse 7
Paul was not against marriage.
Remember that Paul told Timothy that “forbidding to marry” was a “doctrine of demons” (1 Timothy 4:1-3)
Paul was unmarried, but probably had been married at one time
Paul was an extremely observant Jew, and Jews considered that marriage was a duty, to the extent that a man reaching 20 without having been married was considered to have sinned.
It is likely that Paul was a member of the Sanhedrin (Acts 26:10), and marriage was a condition of membership in the Sanhedrin.
Concerning the single life and celibacy…
Chuck Smith- It is not natural not to have a sex drive. It’s the fourth strongest drive that we have, following the air, thirst and hunger. It ranks right there near the top. And if a person doesn’t have a strong sex drive, it means that perhaps God has taken it away in order that this person might be a special instrument for God, freed from the cares that come upon a person when they get married.
Not all are called to celibacy, it is only for some.
Mat 19:11 But He said to them, “All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given:
Mat 19:12 “For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.”
The life of celibacy is a gift from God.
Not all people are called to it.
Not all can accept it.
But it is a good thing, if someone can accept it.
Paul speaks more about this later in Chapter 7.
II. The Difficulty Of Celibacy
A. Sexual Temptation In Our Culture Makes Holiness Difficult Verse 2a
He informs them that marriage, and the comforts and satisfactions of that state, are by divine wisdom prescribed for preventing fornication Porneias—Fornications, all sorts of lawless lust.
One of the benefits of marriage is the fulfillment of sexual desires.
Marriage provides the sexual outlet for the man or woman.
Sexual temptation is still possible,
Marriage is not the cure-all against sexual temptation.
But the marriage relationship is designed by God to fulfill that need.
B. Some People Lack Self Control verses 5b, 9
1. Within Marriage
Paul rebuffs the idea that man and wife could be more holy by abstinence; in fact, they open the door to the tempter when they deprive (same as defraud in 6:8) each other
2. The Need For Affection, Love, Acceptance
a. Certainly, sex is much more than physical satisfaction.
There is a great need among us for emotional satisfaction.
Sexual deprivation in marriage has not only to do with frequency, but with romance and affection.
Deprivation of romance and affection gives occasion for the deprived to look elsewhere for fulfillment.
b. Sex is designed to not only receive, but to give.
There is a sense of great satisfaction in giving pleasure to one’s spouse.
There is an emotion fulfillment, a psychological fulfillment that is important.
c. Mechanical sex- sex without a partner, or sex that only takes and doesn’t give back, either physically or psychologically.
That leaves people very unfulfilled.
It makes them callused and unable to give or receive true love.
That is one of the great dangers of pornography.
That is one of the great dangers of romance novels.
Seeking emotional fulfillment from an impossible source.
3. The single Christian
John Calvin- “It is one thing to burn, another to feel heat. . . .
What Paul calls burning here, is not merely a slight sensation, but being so aflame with passion that you cannot stand up against it”
Some single people will feel the heat of sexual temptation.
Others will be enflamed, and less likely to handle their singleness.
4. Regarding burning with lust.
If a person is burning with lust, whether married or single.
Are you being careful not to fuel the fire?
Each one of us has our own unique emotional and physical needs.
But are you in any way wrongly causing that appetite to be increased?
Do you cause yourself to be tempted?
Do you fuel the fire, and then complain about how difficult it is?
5. In all of this, we keep in mind 1 Cor. 10:13…
1 Cor 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.
Also, keep in mind that sexual gratification is not a good foundation for marriage.
To marry for sexual gratification is a dangerous and unwise choice.
III. The Responsibility Of The Christian Spouse Regarding Sex
A. Christian Spouses Have A Responsibility To Each Other verse 3
1 Cor 7:3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
It is an awesome responsibility: out of the billions of people on the earth, God has chosen one, and one alone, to meet our sexual needs.
There is to be no one else, physically, mentally, or emotionally.
1 Cor 7:4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
Withholding sexual relations is not God’s design.
Christian spouses are not to deprive their mates of their God given desires.
This giving of self in sex is consistent with so much of what is said about Christian living in general.
Sexual relations in marriage is yet another way whereby we may think of another before ourselves.
Paul sees mutual responsibility and benefit in a marital sexual relationship; the emphasis is on giving, on “I owe you” instead of “you owe me”.
Sex is put on a much higher level than merely the husband’s privilege and the wife’s duty.
1 Cor 7:5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self- control.
Paul recognizes marriage as a legitimate refuge from pressures of sexual immorality
It is permitted to suspend sexual relations for a short time, for the sake of prayer and fasting; but don’t think Paul is commanding or even recommending this
Matthew Henry- Note, Persons expose themselves to great danger by attempting to perform what is above their strength, and at the same time not bound upon them by any law of God. If they abstain from lawful enjoyments, they may be ensnared into unlawful ones. The remedies God hath provided against sinful inclinations are certainly best.
But certainly, sex in marriage is to be more than just a safeguard against fornication.
It is designed to be a beautiful expression of love and blessing.
Ray Stedman-
It is clear as you look at this passage, where Paul has dealt so frankly and so explicitly with these
matters, that the essence of marital happiness, sexually, is made up of three ingredients:
1.First, of love to God. The body is made for the Lord. We learned that last week, and, therefore, what the Lord wants you to do with your body should be all-compelling. It should govern what your decisions are.
2.The second ingredient in sexual happiness is a discipline of self — a willingness to put your own needs second to those of your mate in this area, and to give yourself, to give the gift of beauty and love and fulfillment to one another continually.
3.A good marriage, of course, always has a husband and wife giving gifts to one another; birthday, anniversary, etc.
But the best marriages are made up of husbands and wives who are always giving gifts to each other — buying little trinkets here, bringing home something from a trip, your eye being caught by something in a market or a bargain store or whatever that you think your mate will enjoy, and getting it.
That is a way of saying to your mate, “I’m thinking of you. You are important to me. I love you.”
The greatest gift along that line is sex if it is given with that same spirit of joy and thanksgiving and gratitude and willingness to give pleasure.
Nothing is more important than that, but it calls for a refusal to indulge in self and self-satisfaction.
The third ingredient, therefore, is mutual respect and love for one another.